May, 2011

Anything more annoying than a stupid question?  Hello?  Do you honestly think we (restaurant and service workers) have time to stop, pause and respond to your inane, moronic inquiries?  Some things are obvious and require only a modicum of common sense.  Oh, gee.  Maybe asking WAY too much...

     Here's the deal. God (jeez...religious connotation) created the world in seven days and you can't formulate an intelligent, articulate question in ONE second?  Guess the old bearded cat in the the bathrobe has a straight flush to your two pairs.  Meow, and significantly pathetic.  Of course the "old man" always knows what you're playing.  That's why Willie Nelson NEVER plays "Go Fish" with the Big Kahuna.  What's the point?

     Nastiness aside (for the moment)...thank you ALL for your outpouring of love and support.  Greatly touched and humbled.  Man, you dudes simply rock.  Love you all.  Didn't think I could get this Edsel (period reference!) off the ground.  Thanks to a GREAT staff and a lot of local support, WE did it.  The old  Dockside is back and gosh darn it (reference Jimmy Stewart, kiddos) let's rock the fricking dock.  Moo!

     By the way, yes, I did write "Happiness is a Warm Gun".  Paul said he needed a song to offset the ebulliently cheerful tripe he was composing at the moment.  I, naturally, said an exuberant yes.  Well, John got snippety, George sulked, Ringo hacked up a hair ball and Yoko offered to sing the entire album in a burlap sack with Donovan.  Didn't mean to break up the Beatles.  Just a darn song I tossed off after a three day binge drinking espresso martinis and smoking Pall Malls.  Cool beans....

     I digress. Back to stupid questions.  Here are a few of my favorites...

     "Do you serve food?".  Okay, if you observe a couple of ancient hippies flipping burgers on a grill, sweating their asses off, we are definitely NOT serving food.  Can we say pay attention?  We are an open kitchen. Stop and look.

     "Do you have draught beer?".  This question is normally asked whilst the customer is literally leaning on the beer taps.  Say no and continue pouring the pitcher of Miller Light.  Crikey!

     "Do you have liquor?"  No, all these bottles, impressively arrayed right in front of you are for show only.  The ultimate tease.

     "Do you have live music?"  Well, what do you think that noise is behind you?  We actually pay cats to lip sync to radio station drivel?  Boo hoo and moo me...

     "Does God actually wear a threadbare bathrobe and try to entice Willie Nelson to a quick game of "Go Fish". Mmm...YOU decide....

      Perfect.  The order of the cosmic collective has been restored.

     I was always told the the only stupid question was one never asked. Ha!  Must have been a pathological sociopath who came up up with this little piece of insanity.  God suffers no fools and little children must be silent and cower under the glares of Aunts and Uncles they'll learn to abhor late in life.  Get it?  Did you go to...well, never mind...

     Here's a Cabo Wabo salsa (courtesy of  Sammy Hagar) you might find interesting. 

All you need is
4 small Roma tomatoes (diced into small pieces),
2 small scallions , chopped fine,
2 jalapenos, diced finely,
1 large garlic glove, minced,
1/4 cup of chopped FRESH  cilantro
and 1/2 teaspoon of fresh squeezed lime juice. 

Mix all the ingredients' together.  Refrigerate for two hours.  Stir and serve.
    

The reason I dropped this recipe on you is because it is offseason and we all need a quick "whip it up now" sauce that we can utilize for a variety of snacks. Nuff said'.

     I am so out of here!  Take care, dear readers (snicker) and be cool to each other.  Remember, the love you give is equal to the love you make.  Thanks for your support and I love (vicariously) you all.  Have fun, but not TOO much.  Oh, crap...go for it.

     In the meantime...love all, trust a few and live well...