• Were Drive-In Banks established so most of the cars today could see their real owners?
• Now with all the megamergers with the big banks do you think that maybe now they'll open a second teller's window?
• Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
• Why do banks use all that space and money to construct so many teller stations then never have more than two or three in use?
• Why is it that the surest way of establishing your credit is to work so hard that you won't need it?
• Why is it that when we bounce a check the bank charges us more of what they already know we don't have any of?
• Why is it that in order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it?
• If a Principal repays the principal does he give up his principal principle?
• Have you actually seen anybody laughing all the way to the bank?
• Are the three dimensions of a credit card Length, Width and Debt?
• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again was it worth it?
• Should you ever lend money to a friend for plastic surgery?
• Why does American Express keep on sending me application cards for their gold card when I only earn a fraction of what is needed to apply for it?
• Should you make it a point never to loan money because it causes amnesia?
• Why do credit cards have expiration dates?
• If money doesn't grow on trees why do banks have branches?
• How come bankers only give you a loan when you can prove you don't need it? Isn't that like giving you an umbrella when it's sunny and taking it away when it's raining?
• Do banks offer attractive mortgage rates just to create interest?
• If its pre-approved, then why don't they just send you the credit card?
• How much money can you deposit into a river bank?
• Why is the number, to report credit cards lost or stolen, printed on the back of the cards?
• Why is it easy to get a loan if you don't need it, but hard if you do?
• If a bank wants you to open an account, then loan you your money at a high interest rate, how is that supposed to make you look good for doing business with other financial institutions? Wouldn't it mean that you are worse off than you were before?
• Is the bank account for a girdle business called a truss fund? Or is that stretching it a bit?
• Is the reason that banks have made it safer for us to use ATMs, by installing better lighting and security cameras, just so no one ELSE robs us?
• Wouldn't the two best things about banks be money and holidays?
• If you bounce a cheque, why does the bank mail you the bad news? Is that so they can bounce a few more by the time you find out about it? (
• We all know that the number keys on an ATM have Braille on them, right? So are the instructions you get on the screen somehow magically transformed to Braille?
• Why do most bank deposit slips allow for deposits up to $99,999,999.99? Has there ever been anybody depositing that much AND fill out a manual deposit slip?
• Why do people call it an ATM machine when they know they are really saying Automated Teller Machine machine?

A MATURE LADY GETS PULLED OVER FOR SPEEDING...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma’am, I’m afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don’t have one. Traffic Cop: Don’t have one?

Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers. Older Woman: I can’t do that.

Traffic Cop: Why not? Older

Woman: I stole this car.

Traffic Cop: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Traffic Cop: You what!?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see . . .

The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!? The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious!? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car? The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer2: Is this your car, ma’am?! Older woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

Officer 2:Stunned says- My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and hands him her license. The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!!

Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding , too!!